Oprah, Miranda, My Sisters, and Me
It pains me to say it because I think it’s the height of narcissism to stick your face and name on anything and everything, but I have quite a weak spot for the Oprah Chai at Starbucks. Not the latte. Just the tea. What Oprah has to do with my late afternoon coffee alternative is beyond me, but nonetheless, I could drink it by the gallon. I don’t even miss my coffee when I drink it.
It has become a habit to pick one up when I am driving to my sister’s, which is a little more than an hour away. I generally let it steep for a few minutes, and by the time I get to the highway, I pull over and take the bags out, let it cool off for another few minutes and drink it once I get off the highway. It’s a routine I find comforting.
I picked one up on Saturday afternoon and as I pulled out of the drive, I turned up the CD. It was Miranda Lambert, who is WAY country, but it fit my mood on a sunny afternoon. For an hour or so, it was just me, my tea, and my music.
I love driving. It can be great therapy. I let my mind wander wherever it wants to go and it often ends up in and out off prayer. A lot of questions. A lot of uncertainty gets acknowledged while I drive.
So this weekend, it was more prayer. More “what the hell is going on here, and could you please fill me in?” Not really any kind of answer. At least not right away.
When I got to my sister’s, our plans changed and we ended up going to dinner. It had been a long time since it had been just the three of us. We laughed more that night that we have on a long time. We ordered dessert and ended up with new inside jokes. I was really tired when I drove home, but dang was I happy.
I thought, for the millionth time in the last six months, that this is part of why I am home. The things I lost in November are still missed, but they won’t ever come close to Saturday night, or getting to hug the kids every week. Would I trade that for my own bathroom? Nah.
On the drive home, and again today, I was reminded that what I’m learning is how to live again. I’m learning patience, a virtue I do not naturally possess. Waiting, joy, and a whole bunch of other things are lessons I am trying to accept. They are quite hard for this girl who has never lived anything but an anxious existence. I’m learning to roll with the universe a little.
I’m really glad I don’t have to do it alone.